Cruising eating disorder forums is an activity I’ve done ever since I was active on Xanga and had a LiveJournal page. Being a naturally thin person, people could assume that I had an eating disorder. It definitely looks like I would but NO. My issue is, that I used to have, is disordered eating in the form of binge eating.

So anyway, Xanga and LiveJournal are no longer a big thing. Many of them moved to Tumblr (I didn’t). LUCKILY we also have Reddit to fill those needs. For the most part. And I’m sure many people from those sites would agree with me.

As far as my presence on Reddit – I love it sometimes and other times I will not visit the site for months. Right now, I don’t have the app on my phone so I don’t randomly cruise the site.

Most recently though, in fall 2019, I was on Reddit. and I liked the Eating Disorder support page because I could relate to some of the funny stuff and the memes! I also like the food haul pictures that people posted. because I love food pictures.

And then, since I was a binge eater, I also love seeing low-calorie foods that I can binge on without feeling like I ate a pound of butter.

I also like sugar-free foods. Which is part of the point of this post.

In some of the grocery shopping haul posts – I’d say a good majority – THERE ARE SO MANY SODAS. Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi… I felt like a snob because I am VEHEMENTLY AGAINST diet soda. I hate aspartame, which is a main ingredient in those diet sodas.

That bias I had against diet soda extended into a snobby distaste of Monster energy drinks too.

Now don’t get me wrong (and this is where the hypocrisy comes in), I love energy drinks. I’ve loved them since I was in High School. Red Bull was my favorite because the cans are smaller. Monster drinks and Rockstar drinks came in huge ass cans that I felt was too much. And then I can’t front like they’re healthy so I’m not even going to go there because I still drink energy drinks. As a matter of fact, I drink more now than I did at any other of time of my life.

That brings me to the foundation of this post.

Eating disorder food haul pictures commonly include several cans of Monster Energy Drinks. In particular, the WHITE CAN OF MONSTER ENERGY. It’s ZERO – which means no sugar (!) and no calories.

When I say several cans, I mean sometimes upwards of 20 cans.

And I’d judge all those cans.

I’d judge like this: “Dang. With an eating disorder, a person’s body is nutritionally deficient. These energy drinks and soda’s already leech minerals from the body and drinking so many of them is not healthy.”

Judgmental yes, but from a good place of genuine concern. My body is not as healthy as I’d like for it to be and I eat all kinds of food. I just imagine that people who only consume 800 calories a day would have a challenge to have a complete nutritional profile.

To quote God, he says that the way that we judge other people is how we will be judged.

And I judged these people for buying so many energy drinks but I’ll tell you the truth – I 10000% understand now.

Like I said, I drink more energy drinks now than before. Partially because I work an office job that requires me to be alert at 8am LOL

I usually buy them one or two at a time.

But now with covid-19 and social distancing, I make it a point to go to the store as less as possible.

And since I function well with energy drinks, I plan to supply my caffeine addiction for the next week by purchasing energy drinks.

Many MONSTER drinks, actually.

The ones in the white can.

There are so many flavors but those eating disordered ladies and gentlemen really have a good point when they say that the white one is the best one.

I’ll get another flavor or two to mix it up but the important part is the part that says ZERO. I ignore all the chemical ingredients. lol

And so the apology I have for those that purchase many cans of Monster drinks is this:

I humbly apologize for judging you for buying a lot of energy drinks at a time. I understand now that it is more convenient to make large purchases at the same time because sometimes it is necessary to drink an energy drink every day.

In addition, I pray to The LORD that the energy drink God will supply us with the energy that we need and will leave all of our minerals in our body’s. In addition, I also hope that the added vitamins and minerals that are added to the +-300mg of caffeine really add health to our bodies.

Although I have no personal contact with anyone on disordered eating forums, I hope that this apology is well received regardless of who actually reads it.

Honestly, this confession is something that many of my own personal friends would be surprised to hear – that I consume disordered eating content. However, I write this out for ME and to avoid being a hypocrite in my own eyes.

And now, I need to run to the store soon to stock up on more energy drinks.

Sidenote: Monster JUICE just doesn’t have the same impact as the carbonated drinks. And BANG energy is probably my favorite just because the caffeine seems to hit faster than anything else I’ve experienced. The Cotton Candy flavor Bang is delicious.

Also: Hot coffee is severely outdated. I LOVE the Kurieg machine at work though and I am thankful that is is always available. That’s the beauty of Hot Coffee – the affordability and the availability.

Anyway, this is the end. Check out these other posts on energy if you’re interested.

Bing Energy Drinks!