People and compatibility!
We can have more than one match through our lifetimes but I think monogamy is a pretty secure situation that works for the majority of people. Even marriage is a good goal to have. When two people are sincere, getting married will only deepen the good things that they have going!
Jaded people say marriage is a business deal. I’d rather stay iconoclastic. Yeah, you want someone who can add to your life but isn’t it LOVE that you want them to add, more than material things?
I guess it all comes down to what honestly makes two people happy. Who am I to judge a relationship situation as long as no one is being taken advantage of.
Okay, let’s talk about what makes a match! You want that best friend energy with your significant other, right? I know I do!
The phrase “opposites attract” is true sometimes. Other times, it’s a excuse people use to justify the disharmony in their relationships! For instance, arguing with your lover all of the time sounds like disharmony to me.
However, it’s not one size fits all. Some people do enjoy arguing – it’s their love language? Not me though, I like peace. Anyone who is opposite of that would not fit in with my energy.
Well now, the number 5 is pretty solid so here are 5 categories that make a harmonious match with a partner!
1. Exploration and Curiosity
Being on the same vibe when it comes to seeking out adventures can lead to a lot of fun! Imagine how great it is when your partner walks in the door to tell you about a new place they heard about and “let’s go check it out this weekend!” Let’s go!
On the other hand, a homebody probably wouldn’t be excited about exploring a new area. And that’s okay (I guess… I mean, I like to explore but I’m also trying to be understanding to people who like to stay in their comfort zone). I’d say one homebody deserves another but honestly I think someone who doesn’t explore needs a gentle encouragement to leave the house. It’s a big world out there!
Okay, let’s take it to food…. Someone who likes to try new foods needs a partner who also likes to try new foods, that way there’s no arguments about going to a different restaurant or eating something out of the ordinary.
2. Drug and Alcohol Preferences
Having the same views on extracurricular substance use is non-negotiable for someone who is a perfect match.
This is pretty straightforward. Assuming all use is responsible, it really shouldn’t be a problem. But there’s no bigger buzzkill than having a partner who counts your glasses of wine at the dinner table. Especially when they do it openly.
Now, someone who tends to take it too far (ie, someone like me) will do themselves a service to appreciate a responsible partner who will make sure they don’t do so much that they get sick.
But it’s a fine line. What’s best is for the drug and alcohol user to manage their own intake so that no one has to do it for them.
The best part about being a good match on this type of extracurricular is that you don’t have to hide what you’re doing! It’s so refreshing to get a text that says “I got that stuff you like” LOL seriously though, this type of relationship can either save you money or cost you more money. Make sure your partner is not a moocher or it will get old fast!
3. Music Styles
I think that most people enjoy many types of music. If it’s a catchy pop song, it has the power to unite people of all walks of life.
But, you know, sometimes there is just some sh*t that you don’t want to hear.
If your partner loves that brand of sh*t then you’re gonna have a problem when it comes to listening to music for pleasure.
It’s unreasonable to ask someone to not play their favorite songs because you don’t like it. However, a thoughtful partner will know you don’t like it and will avoid playing it as a courtesy.
Be sure to appreciate the courtesy!
4. Teasing and Attitude
Some people don’t mind being teased and they can throw it back to you quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Others are a sensitive soul and enjoy when people are being nice to them.
Guess which one I am lol
Seriously tho, this is a big one. Incompatibility here can actually turn into bullying and no one wants that, not really. Well, maybe jerks do but we’re not talking about jerks.
Just how some people enjoy arguing, it’s all about what your communication style is. If you like to make jokes about your partner: make sure you can also take jokes about yourself and also make sure that your partner is not the sensitive type so that you don’t make them cry.
The same goes for attitude – the good thing is that you can generally gauge someone’s attitude pretty early in a relationship. If they have an attitude problem that you don’t enjoy then leave them alone. If you hate their attitude but like other things about them, try your very best not to get into a permanent situation with them (like a baby!) until you know for sure how you feel.
5. Physical Affection
There were actually several things that could fit in this last point but this is the one that made it in.
Being a match on the frame of how much you like to be touched is actually important. Imagine if you love being hugged and you had a partner that didn’t like it too much. That would be the lamest, possibly saddest, thing ever. I cannot imagine.
So in conclusion, the first thing is that you must know yourself, who you are, and what you like. And then you have to make choices that are true to you and reflect who you are.
Sometimes when we’ve been single for while it appears to be easier to settle for a partner that’s not a perfect match. While okay, you may not match 100%, you really shouldn’t settle for someone who will make you cry, feel less than loved, or someone who doesn’t give you enough hugs and kisses.
If you find that you do have to settle for someone you’re not completely compatible with… Well, make the best of it and focus on the good more than anything else. Make sure your self-love and care is strong as a safe.
And if you find someone that you love – love them with all your heart. But wait until you feel safe enough to give them your all.