Read the title ⬆️…. This post is going to be some tough love.
But wait, don’t run away yet!
I don’t want to push you away from this post.
But seriously, this is an issue that can cause grief and unsatisfied feelings. So, let’s unpack it and become LIGHTER in our relationships, shall we?
I never talk about my graphics but this one makes me want to. The water in the background represents our feelings and emotions. As deep as a dark blue body of water is, that’s how deeply our feelings can penetrate our existence.
“Still waters run deep” but “stagnant waters grow sour.” The message: embrace the waves that shake your waters. They may make you feel uncomfortable but where there is movement, there is life and possibly improvement.
I had to search deep places into my own mind to be able to straighten out the Pushing People Away phenomenon.
And now, after the longest introduction ever, let’s go!
Each bullet point in the graphic is a section in this text.
And I’ll tell you one more secret about that graphic – I made it over a month ago when I was in the midst of pushing someone away. Lucky for me (and the unsend feature!), I checked myself from this hurting behavior! Everything I do here on Easy Light Sources comes from a real place. I will never, ever steer anyone wrong (just don’t follow my example with the energy drinks lol)… But honestly, I have a unique perspective that allows me to see things as they are. It’s truly my honor to write for the 3 people who read these editorials!
Okay, finally and for real this time – let’s begin.
Why do we push people away?
More than likely, there is something in our pasts that would have been avoided if we had detached from someone sooner. We don’t want to feel that again. That’s what we can call:
Consciously Being Afraid
Fear is a benefit in some circumstances. Being afraid of danger keeps us safe.
Fear of certain feelings is more unreliable because emotions are not the best choice when it comes to which foot you want to lead your life.
I advocate time and again for neutrality. Being neutral is how you become Light Hearted.
Fear is a heavy emotion that should only apply to dangerous situations.
Being afraid of feelings that someone brings up in you is a weak trait. Yes, people can be.. dishonest.. or whatever.. but at the end of the day, your feelings only belong to YOU. Which means that you can choose to be neutral, if you really want to. It takes practice but it’s worth it if you want to have some sort of control over your emotional experiences.
Pushing People Away because of your personal emotional feelings leads us to being:
While you’re pushing someone away because of how you feel, you’re not thinking about how they might be feeling.
Some people do need to be cut away from your life – we’re covering that in the last section.
Here, we’re talking about someone who might be going through something, too. Always, always remember – you never know who you may be a source of strength for.
Just the thought of you may bring a smile to their face. If you push them away because you don’t know how to deal with your feelings, you might be causing them some pain/discomfort at the same time.
We really shouldn’t assume anything that someone did not tell us.
As a side note – I hope you can’t relate to this. For several reasons, I hope that this is unrelatable for the majority of people. This kind of life is just really unpleasant. And sad, although I don’t like to use that word. Please stop pushing people away. Remember that time reveals everything so maybe just focus on something else and see what time reveals about your situation. Maybe the entire situation will fade away without anyone needing to push anyone away.
Anyway, one more thing about being self-centered. Selfish actions push people away to the point that you may not be able to recover the relationship. Some people are understanding and/or it may not be a big deal to them. But others may feel like you abandoned them and the trust door might close tightly. Even if you get to a healthier place (by reading this article, for example 😉 there’s no guarantee that they’ll let you back in.
Consider your situation wisely. Think deeply about what this person truly means to you. Some people are worth keeping the door open for, especially if your feelings are the only thing telling you to close it up.
If your feelings are telling you to close it up, give it your ear and see if it actually has anything of value to say – you may find yourself
Pushing someone away because you need to avoid something real or imagined.
- If it’s imagined – Give it a closer look. Our intuition often tells us things several times before we listen.
- If you’re avoiding something real – Don’t second guess any warning signs.
You have my full permission to push away people who:
- Make you feel sad
- Make you feel unwelcome
- Use you for your material items
- Don’t make you feel cared for in intimate moments
- Tell your secrets and gossip about you
- Manipulate you
- Make fun of you
- Make you feel insecure
- Actively don’t support your hopes and dreams
- Lie to you
- Creep you out
My compassion is on level ten right now. I’m sorry if you have to go through this. I really hope that you don’t feel lonely. Remember what Whitney Houston sang
“I’d rather be alone than unhappy.”
Users and other people can be pushed away via ghosting. If you’re feeling emotionally vulnerable, any excuse for “closure” should be ignored.
If you’re stronger, really ask yourself why you need closure. If you just can’t let it go then honestly… Maybe you shouldn’t push it away in the first place.
Take a healthy look at the situation and be sure that you’re not emotionally attached to a hurtful or painful situation.
Be kind to yourself, always. Always treat yourself with love and care.
Having a good relationship with yourself is important for SO many reasons. But on the topic of this subject-
If someone were to push you away…
You want to be filled with so much self love and kindness that it won’t even hurt that much.