I have a personal and sad holiday story to share. Pre-holiday season is the best time to share this! Getting it out now means that it won’t be weighing on me to get it out AND it won’t weigh down the holiday season posts, either 🙂
One main reason I want to share this is because the holiday season is a lonely season for many people. Possibly even some of the readers here. So I’ll share my holiday sad story so that you won’t feel alone. And maybe offer some hope.
If I can still be happy and joyous during the winter holidays, you can too! And not just during the holidays but especially during this season.
So, here it is.
When I was nine years old, the worst possible thing happened on December 18. My mom passed away. Her name was Reathella and I’ll call her by her name for the rest of this post.
That is sad and devastating, even if it occurred 22 years ago!
The story that I want to share actually occurred while Reathella was still living.
A little back story: My parents owned and operated an independent school. Most students were elementary and middle school age. One student was high school senior age and she graduated/received her GED through their school. She was the only person to ever graduate! We will call her AB.
So, Reathella had breast cancer. Cancer is a very painful disease to go through. Reathella did not do pain killers so she SUFFERED. She did her best to hide the pain from me but she went through a lot of it for the last four months of her life, at least.
She was in bed one day and AB dropped in to visit.
“Tell your Mom that I’m here,” she said.
I relayed the message. Reathella said, “okay.”
I went back to tell AB that. She also said “okay.”
Time spent by. Maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour.
I’m not sure at what point it became clear that Reathella was not coming out to see AB.
I’m sure I went back to check on Reathella a few times.
I think that AB knew that Reathella was not going to make it out of her room on that day. I think she knew it pretty early on. But you know what stands out to me?
She waited anyway. She stayed there for Reathella anyway.
Sometimes we want things in life. If they take too long, we will forget about it and move on to something else. But if it’s worth waiting for, we will wait for a long time.
What I see here is that Reathella is a woman who was worth waiting for.
Even if she didn’t greet her visitor, that fact is not even the important part.
I think the important thing is that Reathella knew that AB was there to see her.. and she knew that AB stayed for a while.
Some things and people are worth waiting for.
Okay so hopefully that wasn’t too sad!I dont see a point that I will ever discuss my Mother’s fight with cancer again so I have another couple of things to share from my childhood experience of having a dying mother.
This one, someone reminded me of a few years ago.
My mother was an extremely strong woman. When she was home in the bed, she had an opportunity to lay back and RELAX. As the cancer began to take a toll on her, she would stay in the bed more and more, which meant that she needed people to bring things to her.
I am not an only child. She would call on all of us to help her sometimes. But the older children would take a long time sometimes.
But when she called on me, I always came as fast as I could. It got to the point that she would begin to call on me a majority of the time because she knew not only that I would always come, she knew that I WANTED to come and help her.
(This is not a jab or anything against my older siblings. They dont read this website but… everyone experiences grief in different ways and even tho I’m the youngest, everybody was young. If you all ever read this, please dont be upset or take this story the wrong way.)
But anyway, I am SO PROUD of 9 year old me for being so willing to help my Mom when she literally needed me the most.
Once I was out doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing and my mom called for me when I was out. When I came back, they said “Mom called you.”
I immediately felt stressed and ran to her room.
Another time she called me to make her a cup of tea (her usual request). We never drank faucet/sink water but we were also out of bottles of distilled water. But I was determined to make her some tea. We had ice cubes in the freezer so I melted down the distilled water cubes and made her tea that way 🙂
The last story I’ll share involves Princess Diana. I was with my Mom late at night and we watched the breaking news of her death together.
Now and probably forever, everytime I see or hear about Princess Diana, I also think about my own Mother. This is because of us watching the breaking news together.
But when I found out what a kind and generous woman that Princess Diana was, it makes the memory of my own Mother even sweeter. Because my mom was also kind and generous. People loved and still love Princess Diana. People loved and still love my Mom, Reathella.
They still tell me how wonderful my dear Mother is, even all these years later. I hope they never stop telling me.
My son Legendary and I talk about Reathella. We see her picture every day. He told me once, I’m just gonna call her Mom (as opposed to grandma). That’s just fine with me. I think she would like that.
So finally, I think this is the end of the stories that I will share about Reathella during the time that she was the most ill.
I’ve mentioned in the past, she had a health food store. And she was an herb dealer with Nature’s Sunshine. She may be the definition of a woman who believed in natural cures.
But she did not become cured with her herbs. She died.
There is no way to know if chemotherapy would have healed her.
What I do know is that pain killers would have reduced her suffering.
Because of that, I won’t shun modern medicine. I prefer the herbal route as well. But sometimes you gotta know when to be flexible 🙂
Okay, that is all. For real this time.
I am also a strong person and I hope I am getting stronger every time.
And hopefully this post makes someone feel stronger too.
Continue reading Let’s get this sad holiday post out of the way right now!