A Huge Apology To Some Eating Disorder People

Cruising eating disorder forums is an activity I’ve done ever since I was active on Xanga and had a LiveJournal page. Being a naturally thin person, people could assume that I had an eating disorder. It definitely looks like I would but NO. My issue is, that I used to have, is disordered eating in the form of binge eating.

So anyway, Xanga and LiveJournal are no longer a big thing. Many of them moved to Tumblr (I didn’t). LUCKILY we also have Reddit to fill those needs. For the most part. And I’m sure many people from those sites would agree with me.

As far as my presence on Reddit – I love it sometimes and other times I will not visit the site for months. Right now, I don’t have the app on my phone so I don’t randomly cruise the site.

Most recently though, in fall 2019, I was on Reddit. and I liked the Eating Disorder support page because I could relate to some of the funny stuff and the memes! I also like the food haul pictures that people posted. because I love food pictures.

And then, since I was a binge eater, I also love seeing low-calorie foods that I can binge on without feeling like I ate a pound of butter.

I also like sugar-free foods. Which is part of the point of this post.

In some of the grocery shopping haul posts – I’d say a good majority – THERE ARE SO MANY SODAS. Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi… I felt like a snob because I am VEHEMENTLY AGAINST diet soda. I hate aspartame, which is a main ingredient in those diet sodas.

That bias I had against diet soda extended into a snobby distaste of Monster energy drinks too.

Now don’t get me wrong (and this is where the hypocrisy comes in), I love energy drinks. I’ve loved them since I was in High School. Red Bull was my favorite because the cans are smaller. Monster drinks and Rockstar drinks came in huge ass cans that I felt was too much. And then I can’t front like they’re healthy so I’m not even going to go there because I still drink energy drinks. As a matter of fact, I drink more now than I did at any other of time of my life.

That brings me to the foundation of this post.

Eating disorder food haul pictures commonly include several cans of Monster Energy Drinks. In particular, the WHITE CAN OF MONSTER ENERGY. It’s ZERO – which means no sugar (!) and no calories.

When I say several cans, I mean sometimes upwards of 20 cans.

And I’d judge all those cans.

I’d judge like this: “Dang. With an eating disorder, a person’s body is nutritionally deficient. These energy drinks and soda’s already leech minerals from the body and drinking so many of them is not healthy.”

Judgmental yes, but from a good place of genuine concern. My body is not as healthy as I’d like for it to be and I eat all kinds of food. I just imagine that people who only consume 800 calories a day would have a challenge to have a complete nutritional profile.

To quote God, he says that the way that we judge other people is how we will be judged.

And I judged these people for buying so many energy drinks but I’ll tell you the truth – I 10000% understand now.

Like I said, I drink more energy drinks now than before. Partially because I work an office job that requires me to be alert at 8am LOL

I usually buy them one or two at a time.

But now with covid-19 and social distancing, I make it a point to go to the store as less as possible.

And since I function well with energy drinks, I plan to supply my caffeine addiction for the next week by purchasing energy drinks.

Many MONSTER drinks, actually.

The ones in the white can.

There are so many flavors but those eating disordered ladies and gentlemen really have a good point when they say that the white one is the best one.

I’ll get another flavor or two to mix it up but the important part is the part that says ZERO. I ignore all the chemical ingredients. lol

And so the apology I have for those that purchase many cans of Monster drinks is this:

I humbly apologize for judging you for buying a lot of energy drinks at a time. I understand now that it is more convenient to make large purchases at the same time because sometimes it is necessary to drink an energy drink every day.

In addition, I pray to The LORD that the energy drink God will supply us with the energy that we need and will leave all of our minerals in our body’s. In addition, I also hope that the added vitamins and minerals that are added to the +-300mg of caffeine really add health to our bodies.

Although I have no personal contact with anyone on disordered eating forums, I hope that this apology is well received regardless of who actually reads it.

Honestly, this confession is something that many of my own personal friends would be surprised to hear – that I consume disordered eating content. However, I write this out for ME and to avoid being a hypocrite in my own eyes.

And now, I need to run to the store soon to stock up on more energy drinks.

Sidenote: Monster JUICE just doesn’t have the same impact as the carbonated drinks. And BANG energy is probably my favorite just because the caffeine seems to hit faster than anything else I’ve experienced. The Cotton Candy flavor Bang is delicious.

Also: Hot coffee is severely outdated. I LOVE the Kurieg machine at work though and I am thankful that is is always available. That’s the beauty of Hot Coffee – the affordability and the availability.

Anyway, this is the end. Check out these other posts on energy if you’re interested.

Bing Energy Drinks!

We made some Easter Eggs!

It’s my son and I’s first Easter this year as Christians!

We were in the store getting supplies and happened to see an egg decorating kit on sale for $1! So we bought it, along with a dozen eggs 🙂

I am wondering how Easter will be this year. The Lord has some things in The Holy Bible that would make it somewhat easy to follow his guidelines when it comes to honoring The Lord.

Luckily the Old Testament is for our *learning and example* so it seems that we can choose which customs we want to do to honor The Lord.

I didn’t see a mention of Easter Eggs in the Bible but God will probably be pleased with us if we do decorate some WITH LOVE and use arts and colors.

Pretty homemade Easter Eggs 2020

If you’re against physical eggs you can always just draw on paper and then you could REALLY get creative with the designs.

As far as biblical honors, I’ll probably make some unleavened bread for Easter for us to enjoy. I could probably make some sweet, like a shortbread. And then some savory with black pepper seasonings.

Another reason I am looking forward to Easter 2020 is that I will have completed the Nazirine Vow by that time. Although I have been living the vow for months now, I only became aware of it in the beginning of March. So by April 12, that vow will be complete and it’ll be a refreshing moment – spiritually – for me and my son (if he doesn’t cut his hair before then).

If I can be iconoclastic for a moment, I’d say that the Nazirine Vow should be a great option for anyone who wants to be close to God.

The Lord says that the vow is to “Separate ourselves unto The Lord.” And so I can’t think of anyone else who I would want to be closer to than The Lord.

The hardest part of the vow would be the No Alcohol part. However I’ve had enough alcohol in my early 20’s that I am fine to no longer indulge in it anymore.

However, the Lord is so forgiving that even if someone breaks a Nazirine Vow, they can still re-do it and become God’s person again. Within reason lol

Anyway, that’s all for this post. Thank you for reading.

Midnight Train

There is a train track near my house and every time I hear it, I think “don’t stop believing.” Which is actually a good manifestation to be putting into the universe over and over again.

Sometimes, in my mind, I’ll see more when I hear the train pass. I’ll see some small town girl, such as myself, grabbing onto the train and letting it take us away into the glittery and exciting

Yes, I have a very vivid imagination. It gets even more so when I let the train take me places.

One time I envisioned that the train took me to the many islands near Grenada. It was beautiful. I was leftover considering why there is no train system that span islands?

And then I thought – Maybe sand is too soft to build a bridge over?

But then also remember – when bridges are build, they drill down into the bedrock so that there is a solid foundation.

How did I get from Virginia, USA to building a bridge in the tropical islands ?

The Midnight Train.

Police Appreciation

It’s nice to have someone to call in an emergency. Even if you don’t have family or friends to call on, you can call the police and they’ll come to help you.

Hopefully your life is mild and you don’t have any extreme emergencies because then that’s safer for everyone.

But if you’re in danger, the police and other emergency responders have chosen to live part of their lives dedicated to helping other people regardless of who it actually is that called.

Sure, all officers are not perfect Angels BUT I only want to talk about what Lord God is pleased with and so I want to say thanks for the officers who genuinely want to help people and keep everyone safe!

You guys are so brave to go toward trouble when something is gone wrong.

Thanks for being here for us and big thanks to the nice officers who are genuinely cool!

I don’t fear The Lord – Here’s Why!

When I am with The Lord – it is all love. He is the purest form of love, kindness, gentleness, patience, understanding, and friendship.

The only thing that has the potential to frighten me, when it comes to God, is the thought of what life would be like if He were to ever leave me.

However, that will never happen and so I have no reason to fear.

Fearing the Lord… I can see another situation that is frightening – The Lord’s dealings with those who He is displeased with. People who anger The Lord should fear Him.

But, if you apologize sincerely, He’ll forgive you.

The real fear comes from those who say bad things about The Holy Spirit.

Jesus, in all his kindness and love, stated that They will forgive people who are mean to Jesus and God. BUT They will not forgive those who have mean, bad, damaging, thoughts about The Holy Spirit.

Matthew Chapter 12, Verses 31-32: 31 For this reason I tell you: people can be forgiven any sin and any evil thing they say;[a] but whoever says evil things against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 Anyone who says something against the Son of Man can be forgiven; but whoever says something against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven—now or ever.

Be careful about who you speak against or judge on this Earth because no one knows when God is here. God hears everyone who spreads hate and rumors.

Recently, I heard a Reverend say in a prayer meeting – We will want to always keep our conversations respectful and truthful because we want the Lord to be proud of us if he decides to drop in and listen to us talk 🙂

So in conclusion: although I understand well, God has the power to destroy us all, I don’t fear that power because it will not be used against me. Of this, I am sure. No, I am not perfect. But I know without any doubts that Lord God loves me and for that I am thankful.

Healthy Food Reviews and More!

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