Something I Learned Late In Life

First of all, I realized that other people think really doesn’t matter when it comes to every day life things.

But, that’s not what came to mind when I started this.

What sparked this post is the simple fact that I am an easy to talk to person. People tell me all kinds of stuff. Generally speaking, I think it is because I am a trustworthy person. I don’t really tell secrets and I don’t blackmail people with their own.

But, it’s come to my attention that that is not the sole reason why people tell me all their business sometimes.

Especially people who I just met not too long ago, I found it a little odd that sometimes they will disclose personal information about their relationships, finances, or living situation.

And then I had the realization (I’m not sure what sparked it) but I learned that:

People tell me all their business because they want me to tell them my business.

Now, first of all, that is a soft form of manipulation. If you’re in this situation and someone freely tells you their business, you don’t have to tell them yours.

I value my privacy and I don’t just give up my information like that.

What is fair about this “I tell you a secret, you tell me a secret” is this:

If you’re asking questions, you have to be prepared to answer those same questions. It would be unfair to ask questions that you don’t want to answer.

But anyway, I’m sure there are more things that I have learned late but this one is a big one, I think.

There are probably a lot of people who think that I am stingy with information because I didn’t disclose my personal business to them. And you know, that’s okay. We all have a right to privacy.

Become manipulation proof!

A Beginners Guide To Being Vegan

So you’re thinking about living your life animal-free? Well, good for you! First, though, I do have to acknowledge that yes, it is easier said than done. It’s easier to say the word vegan than it is to actually be a vegan.

Being vegan takes extra work and effort. You have to read ingredient lists and, at first, you may be going without your favorite foods, too.

But that’s okay. The extra effort that you’ll have to take will be worth it because you have a good purpose for adopting a vegan lifestyle… You do have a good reason, right?

Having a good reason is the best part when it comes to longevity.

If you’re going vegan for your health, you can always think about the health benefits you’ll gain by eating more “cleanly.”

If you’re going vegan for the animals, you can think about the animals whose lives you’ll be saving by not eating them.

The same applies if you’re vegan for the environment, for the cost savings, etc.

As long as you have integrity then you’ll be able to keep your word to yourself.

For some people who don’t necessarily cook their own foods, thinking about becoming vegan can present a challenge. Particularly a “what am I going to eat” challenge. This is a particular can of worms that I have a lot to say. Not even about being vegan per se but the fact that I believe that everyone should be able to cook some foods.

Being able to cook is just a quality of life sort of thing. What kind of life are you living if you’re only consuming things that someone else made for you?  Not only is that a waste of money, that also means that you are at the mercy of other people for one of the most important aspects of life – nutrition.

I find that preparing whole-food vegan foods is one of the simple types of foods to make. Vegetables and fruits are always super easy to make, season and eat.

Now, when it comes to reading ingredient lists, I have to say that it is much easier today than it was 20 years ago. I know this because I was reading ingredient lists 20 years ago. My mom had a health food store and I was always health conscious.

Foods today blatantly label their stuff as “VEGAN ã” And, I’m not a food snob so I find this to be a very pleasant evolution. Now, if you’re very serious about your health foods then you will probably read the label anyway.

I’m only moderately serious about my health foods so more likely than not, I only really check for the sugar content because I find that sugar is one of the most unhealthy things in modern foods.

Junk food vegans are fun to be around – they are open to all sorts new foods. A whole food vegan diet may be the healthiest but It’s also the least exciting as far as being in the food world goes. I don’t know if I’d call myself a junk food vegan per se but I do know that I enjoy all sorts of new foods.

 CONFESSION: I get excited about all the new flavors of cereals, even if I’d never eat them anymore. For example, I’d never buy the new birthday cake fruit loops but the kid in me is still super excited about the new flavor!! I really do hope it tastes like all the birthday goodness in the world.

                A true junk food vegan eats more banana flavored foods than they eat actual bananas. That’s not good. And keep it real – doing new things with whole fruits and vegetables is actually more exciting because that means you don’t have to go to the store to get some exciting variety of kale chips or whatever – you can make it at home.

                Which is why no new vegan should become too dependent on veggie burgers and veggie chick’n nuggets, because when it comes down to it, those things are expensive and also and more importantly, you should be able to feel satisfied with a dinner that doesn’t involve highly processed soybeans or mycoprotein.

                Now, if you wanna talk about soybeans, I think it’s okay every once and a while. It keeps things fresh. I think people complain about soy a lot because it’s an easy “fall guy”. You can point the finger at tofu and easily call it bad. But remember, when you point a finger, it is easily 3 more pointing back at you. So, maybe you should look at your diet and see if soy is really the worst thing that you can consume.

                Anything highly processed should be eaten in moderation and that goes for everything.

For a new vegan, try everything that you can in the produce section. But don’t try to buy everything at once. Sometimes we think we have time to prepare extra squash and zucchini but in reality, it may start going bad because you got busy and forgot it was in the fridge. Don’t worry about it – it happens.

The same actually goes for bananas. But, I have a really easy recipe for banana bread if you need to get ride of some brown bananas quick, fast, and in a hurry.

                So in conclusion, I think beginning vegans need to know:

  • Junk food vegans should eat salad too
  • Check the sugar content in processed foods
  • Learn to prepare foods
  • Enjoy a salad without drowning it in salad dressing
  • Try your best to stay strong when someone offers you pizza or ice cream
  • It’s better to cheat with a vegetarian meal than a carnivore meal
  • Don’t feel bad about things that you can’t control
  • Don’t let anyone make you feel bad when they say “but you had seafood last week”
  • Keep your word to yourself
  • When in doubt, drink some water first.
  • Eat a balanced meal with lots of veggies, greens, beans, fruits, and even nuts
  • Find an online community – they are literally everywhere on the internet. Including here!


Perspectives are easily defined as how you view something.

Depending on how open minded we are, sometimes we can allow ourselves a change in perspective after we think a little deeper and find new truths.

Those who are too big uptight will find it hard to shift from their first view on something.

A flexible spirit is often more valuable than a rigid one. However, there are a lot of times that being rigid in our view would save some trouble down the line.

What I mean is, sometimes our gut instinct makes us feel a particular way about something. This is an immediate feeling.

More often than not, this is the best way for you to act from the moment on. But when we doubt ourselves, or find ourselves to be too empathetic, we can second guess our immediate perspective because of something else.

Sometimes that “something else” is the interest of sparing someone’s feelings.

But, I implore us, all of us who care about other people… Those of us who are very understanding to other people’s circumstances… I think that we should make an effort to throw away that “I’m so understanding” narrative and put ourselves first. Even at the expense of other people’s feelings.

It’s only cruel if you’re saying things to intentionally hurt someone. But if you’re just standing up for yourself then that’s okay too.

I’ve learned time and time again that not speaking up for yourself now will make things weird or awkward later. It may also give manipulative people the impression that they are right in however they justify their manipulation.

Speaking of manipulation, I think that the idea of “fairness” is often used to manipulate people into doing or saying things that they don’t necessarily feel comfortable doing.

For example, “If I tell you a secret, You have to tell me a secret.” That’s fine but, if we play by that rule, you’re not in control of the secret that I tell you. You can’t say “I don’t like that secret, tell me another one.” Lol

Anyway, back to perspectives –

It’s MOST important for everyone to experience as many things as they can, as currently as they can. Don’t sit in the same room all day, don’t watch the same movies all the time, don’t listen to the same songs or read the same books.

You have to expand your experiences so that you can stay calibrated and accurate.

If you only talk to people who agree with you, you’re doomed to have a flawed perspective.

And, this goes back to the empaths speaking up for themselves – you’re doing everyone involved a favor by speaking up for yourself. Trust me, you really are.

However uncomfortable it may feel, speak up for your perspective anyway. You’ll be glad that you did.

Personal H.E.R.O

Keeping children safe is a number one goal. Remember I shared the experience about the kidnapping scare that I had?

Well, I don’t want to go on and on because I feel blessed and thankful that my son and I are still together.

I’m also realizing more and more that having a child/being a parent is a huge blessing and honor. Children are very amazing positive energy and my son is pretty cool.

We have to protect them from all kinds of weird energy.

We also have to protect ourselves from the world energy of the world.

I think that being politically correct is a tired activity now. Having to deal with something unpleasant I’m favor of being “polite” can be damaging.

The exception is dealing with something unpleasant because of love or other honorable reasons.

But, if you’re not really getting anything out of it then why do it? Why hang around the bad things? If it steals your light then you should stay away from it.

Also and especially, if you feel you’re being manipulated then that’s even more reason to protect your light.

As an adult, I’ve encountered this. Children can be more vulnerable too, because of the “respect your elders” narrative.

Well, keep in mind that some older folks can be haters too. Some older people can be jealous of children or the advantages that a child has in their life.

I think being a Personal H.E.R.O definitely starts with you – looking out for you. Being protective of yourself.

Creeps are every where. Don’t feel bad about avoiding them.

Limitless Projects

Lately, I think a lot of people can relate to having a lot going on. Looking around me, people I know have skills and talents that they spend their “free” time doing.

These multiple projects are not about making money as a primary objective. Often, these are things that would be created just because of the interest.

But, making money from these projects would be nice, too. Of course. Generally, everyone would want to make money from their natural skills and talents. That’s how you “do what you love and don’t work a day in your life.”

Truthfully, that kind of self-employment based on your interests takes time to build. Time, and money. and with real life bills that need to be paid, side projects don’t always get first priority.

Then there are projects that are free of cost. But, they’re not totally free because you spend time doing it. As they say, “Time is money” . But, when you are genuinely interested in what you’re doing, it’s a pleasure to spend your time building or creating whatever it is.

I guess the whole point is that when you really feel passionate about your projects, they are not a burden on your time or wallet.

Spending energy in positive projects is a great way to spend your time. That’s kind of what hobbies are for too.

The darkside of having too many projects is when you get into the pitfall of not finishing them. You start things and then don’t see it through.

I’ve certainly been guilty of this undesirable circumstance. I think I’d be better off if I actually finished some certain things.

Now, of course some projects won’t ever been “finished.” I’m not talking about an unfinished painting or novel. I’m talking about something like a YouTube channel. Very rarely does a channel begin, post 3 videos, and then say “okay, I’m done.” No. Creating videos and content along those lines is like a continuous thing, as long as you have something to say.

But, sometimes we start things and then realize they’re not for us. If that’s the case then yeah, you really are done probably.

In those cases, you’re probably not very passionate about video creation in the first place. Perhaps you need to find your chosen format but to be completely done? I don’t think it was ever your thing if you can let it go so easily.

I guess the last thing to say about having a lot of projects is to determine the results that you’re getting.

Not everything is for everyone. If you’ve been doing something for a while and you’re not getting better then it may not be for you.

If you’re self-employed and you’ve been doing a project for a while and it hasn’t made money ever, it may not be for you.

This isn’t about giving up, it’s just being realistic about the fact that we have limited amounts of time and energy on this Earth. Do the things that you’re good at!

If sharing your projects are very important to you, go with the projects that other people enjoy seeing from you. Go with the results.

For me, I was just talking to my friend Kofi about adding yet another content to Easy Light Sources. It’s similar to something I’ve gotten good results from in the past too but I had to seriously ask myself, am I doing too much?

The answer is no, I’m not doing too much. In reality, I’m not doing enough. But, I am doing a lot. Easy Light Sources is all that I have time for right now and if it doesn’t tie into that then I probably won’t spend time doing it.

If you’re building a brand, try to make everything tie together in one way or another. That’s actually solid advice.

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