How is love like baking a cake? Well for starters- there are several factors involved in each. For a cake, you need multiple ingredients. Most of those ingredients are standard to most cakes but there are still several special ingredients that depend heavily on the type of cake that you’re making.Continue reading Cultivating Love Like Baking A Cake
People and compatibility!
We can have more than one match through our lifetimes but I think monogamy is a pretty secure situation that works for the majority of people. Even marriage is a good goal to have. When two people are sincere, getting married will only deepen the good things that they have going!
Jaded people say marriage is a business deal. I’d rather stay iconoclastic. Yeah, you want someone who can add to your life but isn’t it LOVE that you want them to add, more than material things?
I guess it all comes down to what honestly makes two people happy. Who am I to judge a relationship situation as long as no one is being taken advantage of.
Okay, let’s talk about what makes a match! You want that best friend energy with your significant other, right? I know I do!
The phrase “opposites attract” is true sometimes. Other times, it’s a excuse people use to justify the disharmony in their relationships! For instance, arguing with your lover all of the time sounds like disharmony to me.
However, it’s not one size fits all. Some people do enjoy arguing – it’s their love language? Not me though, I like peace. Anyone who is opposite of that would not fit in with my energy.
Well now, the number 5 is pretty solid so here are 5 categories that make a harmonious match with a partner!
1. Exploration and Curiosity
Being on the same vibe when it comes to seeking out adventures can lead to a lot of fun! Imagine how great it is when your partner walks in the door to tell you about a new place they heard about and “let’s go check it out this weekend!” Let’s go!
On the other hand, a homebody probably wouldn’t be excited about exploring a new area. And that’s okay (I guess… I mean, I like to explore but I’m also trying to be understanding to people who like to stay in their comfort zone). I’d say one homebody deserves another but honestly I think someone who doesn’t explore needs a gentle encouragement to leave the house. It’s a big world out there!
Okay, let’s take it to food…. Someone who likes to try new foods needs a partner who also likes to try new foods, that way there’s no arguments about going to a different restaurant or eating something out of the ordinary.
2. Drug and Alcohol Preferences
Having the same views on extracurricular substance use is non-negotiable for someone who is a perfect match.
This is pretty straightforward. Assuming all use is responsible, it really shouldn’t be a problem. But there’s no bigger buzzkill than having a partner who counts your glasses of wine at the dinner table. Especially when they do it openly.
Now, someone who tends to take it too far (ie, someone like me) will do themselves a service to appreciate a responsible partner who will make sure they don’t do so much that they get sick.
But it’s a fine line. What’s best is for the drug and alcohol user to manage their own intake so that no one has to do it for them.
The best part about being a good match on this type of extracurricular is that you don’t have to hide what you’re doing! It’s so refreshing to get a text that says “I got that stuff you like” LOL seriously though, this type of relationship can either save you money or cost you more money. Make sure your partner is not a moocher or it will get old fast!
3. Music Styles
I think that most people enjoy many types of music. If it’s a catchy pop song, it has the power to unite people of all walks of life.
But, you know, sometimes there is just some sh*t that you don’t want to hear.
If your partner loves that brand of sh*t then you’re gonna have a problem when it comes to listening to music for pleasure.
It’s unreasonable to ask someone to not play their favorite songs because you don’t like it. However, a thoughtful partner will know you don’t like it and will avoid playing it as a courtesy.
Be sure to appreciate the courtesy!
4. Teasing and Attitude
Some people don’t mind being teased and they can throw it back to you quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Others are a sensitive soul and enjoy when people are being nice to them.
Guess which one I am lol
Seriously tho, this is a big one. Incompatibility here can actually turn into bullying and no one wants that, not really. Well, maybe jerks do but we’re not talking about jerks.
Just how some people enjoy arguing, it’s all about what your communication style is. If you like to make jokes about your partner: make sure you can also take jokes about yourself and also make sure that your partner is not the sensitive type so that you don’t make them cry.
The same goes for attitude – the good thing is that you can generally gauge someone’s attitude pretty early in a relationship. If they have an attitude problem that you don’t enjoy then leave them alone. If you hate their attitude but like other things about them, try your very best not to get into a permanent situation with them (like a baby!) until you know for sure how you feel.
5. Physical Affection
There were actually several things that could fit in this last point but this is the one that made it in.
Being a match on the frame of how much you like to be touched is actually important. Imagine if you love being hugged and you had a partner that didn’t like it too much. That would be the lamest, possibly saddest, thing ever. I cannot imagine.
So in conclusion, the first thing is that you must know yourself, who you are, and what you like. And then you have to make choices that are true to you and reflect who you are.
Sometimes when we’ve been single for while it appears to be easier to settle for a partner that’s not a perfect match. While okay, you may not match 100%, you really shouldn’t settle for someone who will make you cry, feel less than loved, or someone who doesn’t give you enough hugs and kisses.
If you find that you do have to settle for someone you’re not completely compatible with… Well, make the best of it and focus on the good more than anything else. Make sure your self-love and care is strong as a safe.
And if you find someone that you love – love them with all your heart. But wait until you feel safe enough to give them your all.
*There is a summary of self-care (ideas, tips, & more) at the end of this article*
In mainstream society, there is an emphasis on being a good citizen – giving without expectation of reciprocation, and being kind to people regardless of how they treat you.
All of that is fine, but have you noticed that there is more conversation on giving good to other people than there is a mention of giving good to yourself?
Yes, as humans we have to care and look out for each other with kindness and respect.
But what’s more important is to give yourself those same considerations.
Be extra nice to yourself. Go out of the way to make sure that you’re taken care of. Treat yourself good without needing a reason.
This, my dear, is the basis of proper self-care.
What Is The Definition Of Self-Care?
The Easy Light Sources Definition of self-care is protecting yourself from things that you don’t want to experience.
Simply put, self-care can be defined as taking care of yourself… Beyond the basic needs of food/shelter/clothing… We can assume that you have those things already. It’s not enough to cover the complexities that the human experience is comprised of.
The actual experiences that people feel in life are varied. So, self-care will also be varied according to what each person personally values.
Another definition of self care comes down to what you can do for yourself that creates feelings of self love. These are thing things that not only make you feel good, they also make you feel like an upgraded version of yourself.
Again, and I must emphasize, this will be different for everyone. And that’s okay, there is no judgment here. Stay true to yourself, that’s what’s important.
Why You Need A Self-Care Plan
A self-care plan will help to keep you protected as effortlessly as possible. Doing so will constantly keep you above the parts of life that you don’t want to be apart of.
In this world, there are millions of external programs, news, ideas, games, works, etcetera that can be focused on. All of these things can leave you neglected in many ways.
Most times, we can only do one thing at a time. Being consumed by other people’s created content is easy.
That’s not a bad thing, it just makes it easy for your own to-do list to fall by the wayside.
Having a self care plan allows your care to become a regular thing, on autopilot, so to speak. You’ll still have to put forth the effort to put yourself first but it’s easy when it’s something that you regularly do.
Remember: taking care of yourself is an expression of self-love!
People who regularly practice self-care are adding value to the world just by adding value to themselves.
Those who practice self-care:
- Are more emotional balanced
- Experience inner happiness
- Display value without words
- Are better able to help others, even if they’re not going out of their way to do so
- Garner more respect from others because they outwardly respect themselves
- Have peace as a constant experience
The only reason you need to practice self-care is the fact that you love yourself and you want to enhance your life experience for the better.
Self-Care Tips and Ideas
The typical tips and suggestions of expressing self care usually focused on leisurely grooming habits. Ie:
- Take a long, hot bath with bubbles, bath bombs & essential oils,
- Do a facial,
- Paint your nails,
- Get a massage,
- Let a professional wash your hair,
These things are good because they make you feel special.
If taking a bubble bath raises your spirit considerably then you should do it as often as you can.
Self-care and self-love practices are more than just the physical practices. The best self-care is when you are protecting yourself from negative energy and experiences. That includes your own negative energy. You want to protect yourself from negative thoughts and detrimental habits.
Always thinking positive is an ideal trait. There is strength in having an optimistic outlook without delusion.
Self-care translates to self-respect when you outwardly protect yourself from other people’s negative energy and experiences. If there are negative words being directed to you or something that you love, you will need to use your words to protect yourself. Speak up and don’t let someone be a bully. It may feel uncomfortable at the time but being meek can make you feel uncomfortable a lot longer…
Being smart with your self-care will also tell you when to walk away from bad situations. You don’t have to enter every door that you’re invited to. Take care of yourself as a priority.
Here are some more self-care ideas:
- Listen to uplifting music,
- Do a happy dance when you’re happy,
- Allow yourself to cry when you need to,
- Don’t be sad for longer than a couple of hours,
- Read more books on subjects that interest you,
- Smell flowers that you see (literally smell them)
- Smile and wave at children,
- Celebrate when you see someone win,
- Give out high fives when appropriate,
- Create something that you believe in,
- Practice patience daily,
- Be courageous,
- Be proactive about what you want to accomplish in your life,
- Daily meditation
For more self-care ideas, you will have to look within yourself and recognize what you need. Not what you want, but what you need. Unhealthy desserts may fill a want but if you need to be healthy in your life then be honest about what energy you’re feeding.
Positive Songs With Self-Care Lyrics
Ideally, a person will create their own playlist of their favorite songs that have good energy and no hate-lyrics.
If you like songs with hate-lyrics, don’t play it on repeat. Listen to it once or twice and use that play time to release your own negative energy.
Speaking back on self-care and self-love lyrical songs, here are a few that I can think of immediately:
- The Greatest Love Of All by Whitney Houston
- All Songs by Cambatta, namely, The Shaman, No Fear & DMT
- Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson
- Say You, Say Me – Lionel Richie
- Fire Away – Naill Horan
- You Got A Friend – Roberta Flack
- Diamonds – Rihanna
- Amazing – Kanye West
And more, this is not a conclusive list! It’s more than lyrics that matter, the whole vibration has to speak to you positively, the instruments played, the tone of the singer…
Show Yourself Love And Care Through What You Consume
Consuming in a literal sense is wanting that stimulates the senses:
- What you taste on your tongue,
- What you hear,
- What you smell,
- What your see,
- What you feel.
These things can be positive or negative. They can make you feel good, or they can make you feel bad. Usually it is easy to tell the difference between the two.
Gulity Pleasures make it hard to tell if you’re harming yourself long-term for a short-term pleasure.
Once in a while, go ahead and indulge. The keywords there are once in a while.
The goal is to be healthy as much as you can be – healthy inside and out. That way, it wont cause too much damage to go into a guilty pleasure.
Unhealthy guilty pleasures on a daily basis are just bad decisions and low self control…
This article is nearing the end so I want to go back over how we consume things with our senses and how we can consciously protect ourselves with our senses in mind:
- Taste– Consuming foods that will protect your body from illness instead of eating things that contributing to illness.
- Sight – Looking at things that make you feel good and inspired instead of seeing things that disturb you.
- Touch – Physically giving your skin an experience that is luxurious or pleasant instead of causing uncomfortable feelings or scars.
- Hear – Listening to positive messages or uplifting content versus content that makes you feel down or negative.
- Smell – There are some scents that make people feel high, these also can harm your lungs, brain, and other organs. No high is worth that.
If the things that you like are detrimental then you really need to consider how much you value yourself and how much damage you’re actually doing. Every once in a while it’s not so bad, especially if you make healthy decisions most of the time.
What If Nothing In This Article Helps You?
If you find these tips to be unhelpful to your self-care journey and you do not feel increased self-love, you may need to go deeper within yourself to find out what you need to feel cared for and protected.
A professional therapist has the training that you need. Please get help, everyone deserves to feel loved.
If you can’t afford a therapist then you owe it to yourself to try to take care of yourself the best that you can. See the good in everything and you’re already halfway there!
- Self-Care is showing yourself love and protecting yourself from negative experiences.
- People who practice self-care are happier, and garner more respect by displaying value onto themselves.
- Creating a self-care plan will protect you in everyday life.
- Good Ideas for Self-Care stem from what brings you good feelings. Choose the practices that will bring you short-term pleasure and long-term value.
- Consume content that inspires you, teaches you, and makes you dance.
- Eating well is self-care.
- People who value themselves are more valued by others.
- If you’re in need of further assistance, seek therapy. If you cannot afford a therapist, work harder to seek the good in life.
Yes, water is amazing and we should drink a lot every day! But, there are also a lot of people who claim they “don’t like to drink water.” No judgement 🙂 I have some good news if you can relate!
When it comes to long lasting hydration, that can be accomplished with a steady intake of fruits and vegetables!
Yes, you can eat your water. And you should!
Vegetables and fruits are key for lasting hydration in the body because of one key component: FIBER!
The human body is 70-80% water and it’s really good at processing pure water. It goes in and out quickly!
Vegetables, on the other hand, take longer for processing/digestion.
The fiber in fruits and vegetables holds the water inside of us longer.
At least one full serving of fruits and vegetables a day will help your body stay moisturized.
Keep it fresh too! Tin canned fruit and vegetables are not nearly as good for your body system!
Remember, all body organs benefit from proper hydration. 💧 Stay thirsty, Lighters.